Once again I am reminded that there is no room for complacency in my faith. It is my sinful nature. When things are easy, sin so easily slips in the door. I think I am good--that I am doing pretty good. I trust in myself. I look inward. Having faith seems pretty easy. And this is the complete opposite of what God desires for me. So He draws me out. He shows me that my only hope is in Him. That He is my only constant. That every good and perfect gift is from Him. That He is good and what He does is good and HE IS GOOD IN THE GIVING AND IN THE TAKING. He is trustworthy and His love is perfect and casts out all fear. In Him is rest even in the deepest hurts and the most raging storms.
And so here I am again. At our 18 week ultrasound with Anna my world tipped. I wondered if she would live and if she did what she would look like---what disabilities she would have. I PRAYED. I prayed for healing and for faith. God answered both prayers. My Anna was born with only slight bowing in all her limbs. She does not have dwarfism or any type of skeletal dysplatia far as we can tell. She is such a happy, content (for the most part) little one. But Anna is my faith baby. For most of my pregnancy I fought to surrender her life to the Lord---to release all earthly claims I have on her life. And I am doing that once again. At her well check this week the doctor noticed that her soft spot was swollen and bulging. We had an ultrasounddone on her head today and learned that she has fluid on her brain. We have not talked with our doctor yet, but the nurse at the hospital today did say that this can be common. And we don't know much more than that.
So...perhaps this is nothing and will resolve itself on its on. Or perhaps is something more difficult. We don't know. At this point we don't know what could have caused it or what to look for. We will most likely have more answers after we talk to the doctor. But, once again I am running to the ONE WHO KNOWS. The ONE who is forming Anna perfectly and is making no mistakes. The ONE who has numbered her days and will accomplish each one according to His perfect will and for His glory. The ONE WHO LOVES ME AND LOVES ANNA. And I can trust the ONE who loved me so much that He laid down His life for me. That is love. This is my salvation. He is my strength and my everything.
So I do ask for your prayers for Anna. Please pray for her protection and for her healing. And pray for our faiths to be sustained and for Jesus to be seen as the ONE who is worthy of our love, affection, worship, and trust.
Thank you and God Bless